Precipice

I'm the type of person who likes variety, who says "I'll try anything once" enough for it to be a cliché but not enough to regret it, who appreciates change for the sake of change.

Before yesterday I'd never been laid off before, but I don't think I like it.

The short version of this is that my job is moving to Ottawa without me. The long version is that my department (what the company refers to as a "business unit") has been restructuring for months. One of the biggest and last pieces was to take us, the entry-level positions, and mix us around a bit. A handful of my teammates will be spared the knife, but the rest of us were axed so that more people could be had doing more work for less money in a different city. The only satisfaction that I get is that my replacement(s) will be focused on the part of my job I hated most: dealing with customers.

The big A is not rid of me quite yet, though. Among those of us leaving, a few were given two month "transitional" periods, at the end of which we earn a fat bonus. Less fortunate folks than myself get less time and less money.

Everyone is being encouraged to find another job within the company, but there are few jobs to go around. At the moment I'm taking a break from resumé development for the best avaiable slot. I'm optimistic about the position (I started talking to that manager a week before I knew how badly I needed the job); it's a training position- training my replacements, among other people. But the stiff competition has me very nervous.

All in all, it sucks. Yesterday was a very bad day, though most people took it well. We could smell it coming, quite frankly. We just didn't know when. Some folks are taking the attitude that the reorganization is a mistake, but I have to be honest and say that it's a good plan. Our department had become stale and needed change. I just wish they hadn't decided to change me out for a canuck. They're abandoning a tremendous amount of experience and knowledge in the people that are being let go, but they know that. It was a move calculated to consolidate resources, save money, and stroke certain egos.

So here I find myself, on the edge of unemployment. If my bid on this job is successful, well, not much will change. If it's not successful... I can kiss this fancy laptop goodbye for starters. And there will probably be some ridiculous commute involved for my next job. Lord, how I hate job searching; I hate having to sell myself.

Pfah. Life is giving me lemons, and I'm not much in the mood for lemonade.